How to Reduce Chances of Being a Terror Victim, hereunder the small Sargasso-annotated version.
11. When traveling overseas, stay in an American chain hotel; security is usually more stringent.
But American corporations are also more likely to become a terrorist target. Difficult decision.
12. When in a foreign country, don’t advertise that you’re American by speaking loudly, holding up maps, exchanging currency at airports, showing American flags, etc…
Good idea! Especially the part about the loud talking and the flags. Holding up maps and exchanging money the Dutch don’t consider as typically American.
18. Never take the first taxicab in line; hail a moving cab instead.
Do this in Amsterdam and the driver of the first taxicab in line will inflict some damage on you of terrorist proportions .
23. When traveling abroad, read local newspapers to pinpoint dangers there.
Ha, the insatiable interest of the Fox reader in other cultures (who easily go to the length of learning the language) comes in handy here.
25. Make out a will and letter of instruction in case you die.
This reduces your chances of being a terror victim in the same way as buying oversized clothes will help you lose weight.
American readers can obtain a copy of the full Sargasso-annotated version of The Complete Terrorism Survival Guide for free if your country starts acting like a grown up responsible superpower…. ;-)
Reacties (9)
I LOVE FOX NEWS! I ALSO READ NYPOST.COM TO KEEP UP TO DATE WITH THE LATEST TERROR THREATS. THERE IT ALSO SAID TO AVOID TRAVELING AND FOREIGNERS. BY THE WAY, THE NEW MEL GIBSON MOVIE IS ABSOLUUUTELY FABULOUS!!!
PUT THAT FLAG DOWN !!!
Mark, ik weet niet hoe perfectionistisch je bent, maar voor de zekerheid: er staat ‘recieve’ ipv ‘receive’. En anders: lamaar zitten. Het zijn tenslotte maar hele kleine lettertjes… :-)
VJ: ach, compleet volgens de Faux News kijkers spellingregels.
Ach ja terrorisme. Volgens mijn grote vriend en voorbeeld Neil Cavuto van Fox News, is president Bush zo verschrikkelijk succesvol geweest in zijn oorlog tegen terrorisme dat het wel eens zijn ondergang kan worden. Die arme president Bush…:
“
I’ve always thought that the war on terror (search) would define this president. Now I’m beginning to realize it just might doom him. Not because of anything he’s doing wrong, but precisely because everything he’s doing right.
This isn’t a political statement. I like to think it’s a factual one.
He has done such a good job combating terror threats in this country, that it no longer seems a worry in this country. I see it everyday entering and leaving this great city of Manhattan.
I remember there was a time when cars were searched, when police by the hundreds guarded tunnels and bridges. I don’t see searches now. I see very few police now. We are a nation getting our Mojo back now.
That’s good. But for the president, that’s bad.
It takes off the table the one issue that is his greatest on the table. That of security. We’re secure in thinking maybe Sept. 11 (search) was a fluke. Nothing’s happened here since. So we’ve moved on since. And as my friend Dick Morris (search) points out in a brilliant column today, we’ve relegated all things life and death behind all things profit and pocket book.
Never mind this president scores highly on security, if you’re already secure, do you worry about feeling secure?
I’m just reminded of the first World Trade Center bombing in 1993. I remember a policeman on the scene saying something like, “Well, they’ll never attack this place again.” He was partly right. For years, they didn’t. About eight years, to be exact.
Terrorists aren’t short-term thinkers. It is a big pity we are.
“
@VJ: dan maar het ‘moelukke’ woord omzeilen (omzielen). Zo deed Kuitenbrouwer het ook met de alhier gesignaleerde d/t-fout (Jan, er staat nu nog wel ‘bureacratisch’….).
@JdB: Die opening, “This isn’t a political statement. I like to think it’s a factual one. “, is briljant.
Cynischerwijze zou je Bush nu kunnen aanraden om dan zelf maar een aanslagje ergens plaats te laten vinden. In elk geval bezorgt het mij een onprettig gevoel dat Bush wel vaart bij een zo groot mogelijke terroristische dreiging, althans niet vaart zonder een dergelijke dreiging.
How to Reduce Chances of Being a Terror Victim.
Become a Terrorist
Ehh, jewel mark.. daarom verzint hij er ook zoveel,het opsteken van een dikke vinger naar een willekeurige leraar, politieagent of fbi c& a menneke kan je al op de zwarte lijst doen belanden.
Je zult maar als homosexueel in amerika wonen en honderden mensen werk bezorgen..
je zult eens NIET meezingen met psalmen en het national anthem. ai, ai ..
Het Goelag kamp wacht u..
YOU’RE JUST ALL JEALOUS LIBERAL RED HOMOSEXUAL JEW LOVING FRENCH TERRORISTS, UN BUTT KISSING, PUSSY ARMY, OLD EUROPE, FREEDOM HATING GAY COMMUNISTS!